Love, Rose
by IAmImperfect
Summary: Dear Scorpius. I don't know why I'm writing this letter. Maybe I'll see you again, maybe I won't. Maybe if I wait long enough, I'll be able to stop myself caring. Love, Because as hard as I try, that still what it is ... Rose.


Dear Scorpius,

Don't ask me why on earth I'm writing this letter. Just something inside of me forced me to pick up a quill and to write all of this down. I don't know what you were expecting me to do, what you were expecting me to say. But I prefer not to dwell on that. I prefer not to dwell on what you did, and how broken I am right now. I prefer to look at the happy moments, although I know that eventually I will also have to cover all the sad ones too.

Do you remember the first day that we met? You were this little kid, running your hand through the platinum blonde hair that made you immediately identifiable as the newest generation of the Malfoy family.

I never really noticed you until the sorting hat ceremony. My Dad had pointed out you, claiming an old rivalry with your father, but I wasn't really listening.

Unlike the way that I was Gryffindor from the moment the hat touched my head, you sat there, clutching on to the chair so hard that your knuckles began to turn white. I could just hear a muttering, given how close I was to the hat itself.

"Slytherin, Slytherin… please" From that moment I disliked you. You can't really blame me. It was what I had been brought up with, and it was drilled into me even as I stepped off the platform into the train. I don't blame my father, because look at the people that surrounded you in your precious Slytherin. They were the type that used to tease the muggle-borns, and play all those dirty little jokes outside of the Common Room. In fact, maybe that's where I should have said that we met instead. It seemed obvious that I would be the one they were after a lot, me and Albus and James, as well as Lily and Hugo in their time. The children of the Golden Trio… but seriously, did you have to be so cruel?

It was at least ten o'clock at night when Becca's broomstick started to slowly float out of the window. If you try and tell me you didn't know about Becca and her broomstick, there is no way I will believe you. Everybody in the entire school knew about Rebecca Wood and how obsessed she was with her icewind broomstick. Becca was out of the window within half a second, and then what would happen but the entire dorm was out there within moments. I didn't want to exactly, but it kind of hard to stop when you've got Dominique pulling at your arm.

It was that click the moment that we were out of the window that was the give-away.

How long would you have left us out there? We were out there for hours, not even having a wand between us, until Professor Longbottom found us. And it was obvious it was you as well, Becca was supposed to be chaser in the Quidditch against Slytherin the next day, as the looks on your faces gave it all away.

We were shivering, and freezing and some of us were barely in our pyjamas. To this day, that night stands out as one of the worst nights in my entire life. However, between me and you, that was a happy moment. Trust me, we had a lot worse.

Our hatred grew over the years, until the point where I couldn't even catch sight of your ridiculously blonde hair, without feeling sick to my very stomach. If I heard your drawl narcissistic voice in the library, then I would go hide from you somewhere else. Well, until September 1st, Five year. Tell me you know what that day was, because if you don't then, then there is no hope for us in the slightest. But maybe there's no hope for us anyway.

It was the day that there were no spare compartments on the train. The day when I saw sitting there with a book in my hand and then suddenly I was overcome with a surge of green surrounding me everywhere I looked. I felt the need to shrink against the walls, as you ignored me, or at least in the most part. About half way through, I couldn't take it, and got up to check if James had finally stopped kissing Becca already.

I heard your voice call from behind me.

"Leaving so soon, Weasley?"

With a twist to face you, and a pronounced snarl on my face, I stared you down. I didn't know you back then, but I thought that I did. I thought you were this miserable, annoying, self-centred Slytherin, who thought he was better than everybody else. To be fair, you were at that point, but there was something else underneath it, buried under all that miserable other stuff.

"Sorry, I didn't realise you were enjoying my presence so much, _Malfoy._"

You threw back your head and laughed. But still when I went to leave the room, you cast some stupid spell. You thought you were better than me. You thought I was useless. You didn't think that once you were stuck in a full body jinx.

It was a perfectly normal experience for us, but I came back once the train had stopped. Then it was just you in there, looking out the window.

"What the hell am I doing?" the voice drifted out of the compartment, and I stood at the door, shell-shocked. "Why?"

I stepped inside the place, hearing your voice bouncing off the walls, tiny slips of tears in the middle. I heard you pulling in your breath.

"Scorpius." I whispered, but it was drowned out.

"How could she be dead? How?" Your voice levels began to grow and grow, until you were almost at a scream, hoping that nobody could hear you. "Mother…" You began to gasp for air, and in that moment, I'm not sure what happened, but my arms were around you, and I was just trying to stop that misery pouring out that nobody should ever have to experience. I don't think you realised that it was nerdy old Rose Weasley that holding on to you, until you had stopped crying. It was just an impulse, something that I would do with my little brother.

You glanced up at me, with a look, a look that could kill, but also said thank you in the same way. You were always funny like that, for as long asknew you.

"Why are you here?" Your voice whispered, so fine that I almost couldn't actually hear it. "You hate me…"

I couldn't deny it. We hated each other, we had for years and I felt like I shouldn't be the one who was with you. It was so different from the way you were before, an abrupt change that nobody that knew you would have ever expected in a million years.

"Can you blame me?" My voice was bitter, and you could tell. With a teary glance back up at me, a reply came out.

"You expect me to account for opinions which you choose to call mine, but which I have never acknowledged."

I stood there, self-shocked for a moment. My mouth fell open and my eyes widened. For a moment I thought you had a soul, that maybe you weren't really how you appeared. It could have been all an act. And then you laughed, and I walked from the room, confident that you were exactly what I thought you were. A jerk. I didn't know what day it was. I didn't know that your sister was dead.

After that, it was five years until we had another conversation. I still can't believe that you became an auror. That was the first thing that showed me you weren't quite like the rest of your family. While they were the dark wizards of their generation, you spent time trying to spread the light.

"Weasley?" Your voice rang out, and there was this little bit of embarrassment on your face. "I just want to say sorry."

"Yeah, I'll believe that when I hear… Dammit" A smirk flew to your face instantly, and somehow it was reflected on mine, without even thinking about it.

It wasn't over immediately though. It took weeks of us working together for you to finally get up the guts to ask me out. It took a couple more weeks for me to finally say yes.

But once we were together, it was brilliant, amazing. It was a sensation that I had never felt before. I learned that you weren't your father and I wasn't my mother. Wwe could be exactly however I wanted to be. And all I wanted to be was with you. You told me you loved me in that short time that we were dating. You told me that without me, your life wasn't worth anything.

I was taken in my your words, "You're beautiful" and "I love you" and even "I would die for you"

I truly fell for you when you told me that. I fell for you, heart and soul. And nothing would ever be the same again, because I wasn't the nerdy, bookworm Rose Weasley anymore. I was part of a pair; we were Rose and Scorpius, always together. When somebody said my name without yours it just seemed wrong. All I wanted was to be with you for the rest of my life.

But I don't need to tell you where it all went wrong. You know that as well as I do. If you cared about me, as much as I cared about you, then I wouldn't have walked in to catch you with my cousin.

I couldn't believe it. You and Roxanne. I don't know what was going through your mind. I don't care. And obviously neither did you.

"Scorpius?" The word fell from my mouth, and you glanced up.

"Rose… I can explain…" Did you really think that I wanted to listen to you spin your words and create this story that both of us would know wasn't true? You know what I think was true? I think that you just got scared. Both of us knew that Roxy had always had this crush on you, and it was unfair of you to do that to her... to us. It wasn't just you and me, but instead you had to drag my family into it as well.

"Go to hell…" Because after everything that had happened between us, I knew that you were what I had always thought that you were. And now I can't stop crying and it's so ridiculous. I don't know why on Earth I ever decided to trust you, Scorpius. Right now, I don't know what I would do if you were at my door right now. It would be so hard not to kiss you, and to say that it was alright.

But you're not here. You didn't care enough to be here. So I'm writing you this letter, a letter that chances are will never leave my house. I don't want you to read it. I don't want anybody to read it. But I wrote it anyway. I wrote it, because otherwise I think my heart might just explode and I think I'll drown in my very own tears. Isn't that ridiculous? I spent all of my Hogwarts Years hating you with all of my heart and now I can't live without you. It's that funny in a sick, hilarious way.

I can picture you laughing right now.

But I'm sorry. I just don't think I can cope with thinking about your right now. I've got to forget, and I need to get over you. This letter will probably be in the fireplace within half an hour, but I felt like I have to write it anyway. Maybe I'll see you again, maybe I won't. Maybe if I wait long enough, I'll be able to stop myself caring.

_Love, (Because as hard as I try, that's still what it is)_

_Rose_


End file.
